Where did I Fail On her?
by lisapizzalol
Summary: No one gets it...Take a look at what has gotten Alex so broken... Please read Mitchie and Alex pairing


**Short one shot..Kinda sad... I can make it a two-shot if you want just let me know ;)..Review Review make me smile xD pleaseeee**

I was crouched down on the floor hugging my knees, my tears streaming down my red cheeks and uncontrollable sobs spilling from my lips.

I glance at the letter once more not understanding where it had gone wrong, where the hell did I fail on her?

I hear a soft knock at my door and had no strength to move from the position I was in to answer it. The door opened slightly and my mother's head poked in.

"Baby girl you can't keep doing this…please hand me the letter" My mother took slow steps towards me and plotted herself next to me.

"I can't" I looked down at my feet.

"Why?" She reached for the piece of notebook paper I was holding but I snatched it away when her hands got too close.

She stood up and made her way to my door but looked back before leaving and said "Move on Alex, seriously"

I run to the door and push my mother out locking it before I smack my head on to the hard wood surface, sliding down the door slowly letting the sobs escape my lips once again.

After about 10 minutes I walked over and climbed into my bed. I was laying down on my side and my knees close to my chest.

The phone vibrated on the night stand and instead of ignoring it, like I always do, I decided to pick it up.

"Hey…" I managed to choke out.

"You okay baby?" He asked gently.

"No…" I say bluntly

"I'm coming over" And he hung up. I decided not to argue with him because I just didn't have the strength anymore to do anything.

I close my eyes and decide to run away from this stupid ass reality and go back to the memories I have with her.

_"Mitchie look!" The 10 year old runs my direction and crouches down next to me._

_"What?" She says sweetly. The sound of her voice makes me forget what I was holding and I get lost in her eyes not wanting to escape the trance._

_"You are so beautiful…" She nervously bites her lip and I see the pink creep up on her cheeks lightly._

_"Why do you always do that Alex?" I saw her gulp and I felt my own hands start to sweat._

_"Do what?"_

_"The way you look at me and then call me all these things that I'm not" She looked to the ground but I place my free hand under her chin picking her head up slightly._

_"Are you calling your best friend a liar Mitchie?" I gave her a playful smirk._

_"No...I...Just..." I giggle shocking the cute 10 year old._

_"Is it wrong to want to kiss you?" I asked her confidentially _

_"Girls aren't supposed to kiss other girls my mom said"_

_"Well I think they can if they are best friends like me and you" I look at her and I see tears build up in her eyes._

_"I don't know Alex"_

_"Kiss me Mitchie?" I poke out my lips and shortly after she closes the gap. I feel the butterflies in my tummy start to flutter, and felt her smiling through the kiss._

_Mitchie was my first kiss._

I feel arms wrap around my waist and wake up from the memory.

"I miss you" His cool breath smacked my ear making a shiver travel down my spine

"You saw me yesterday" I was stiff in his hold.

"I mean I miss the real you Alex, ever since she di-"

"Shut up" I place my hands on my ears trying to tune out his words. My heart raced and I feel the tears make a wall in my eyes.

"Lex…she died…it is okay you have to move on…" he tries told me tighter but I jump out of his grasp and stand up.

"Get out" I choke out.

"Baby you know I'm right, everyone is telling you the same thing I am just looking out for you"

"Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" I run down my steps and out the door, crossing the street without paying attention to the cars coming by.

I know where I am going; it is a place only Mitchie and I felt safe.

I climbed into the dirt cave and sit on the blanket Mitchie and I laid out when we decided this would become our hide out.

_"Alex, I wish there was a place where we could just escape together and get away from all our problems" Our hands were intertwined and our eyes focused on the clouds shaping different forms up in the sky._

_"Let's go find one then" I tug on her arm so she can focus her eyes on me._

_Our eyes connect and a smile is plastered on her face. Our 12 year old selves run into the woods and we came across a dirt cave._

_"Alex ew no that is so gross!" I playfully shove her and crawl inside of the dirt cave._

_"We can make it more homey, put a nice blanket and stuff Mitchie" She is waiting outside of the dirt cave and after about 30 seconds of debating whether she should come in or not she crawls in completely terrified of getting dirty._

_"Wasn't so bad was it?" I ask sarcastically._

_"Haha very funny" She shot her glare at me._

_"You're so cute when you're pouty Mitchie" I flick her bottom lip with my finger and she turned her head quickly._

_"Stop Alex"_

_"Why?" I turn her head to force her to look at me and I feel her warm breath smack my lips. As I lean in making our lips only centimeters apart._

_"Because…" She whispers slightly._

I reach into my back pocket and take out the note. I look around for something to dig with a saw Mitchie's spoon lying on the small table we placed in here.

I dig a tiny hole next to the blanket and look at the note one last time.

_Dear whoever is reading this,_

_If you are not Alex reading this please give it to her, if you are my Lexi keep reading._

_Lexi Baby girl please don't blame yourself and please don't take this too hard. I love you Alexandra and no not only as a best friend, I fell in love with you and I am sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you this while I was still living. I am sorry you had to find out this way. Alex I never understood you, you always seemed like you had a thing for me but then you got a boyfriend and even though you still treated me the same he was the one you claimed you love. You confused me and it hurt. I know I am probably making you feel like shit but I don't want you to break your head wondering all these things._

_Last time we spoke is the day I decided that I would do what I did. I was in too much pain watching the one I loved, love someone else. I would rather not live seeing that then living and hurting more and more each day. People might think I am crazy killing myself so young for some girl right? Well they say love makes you do crazy shit. And plus, you weren't just some girl. You ARE the love of my life…_

_Goodbye Alex 3 _

_Love ALWAYS Mitchie…._

** Revieww your thoughts! xD**


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